Analytically Sound

I spend the majority of my days locked in an intense mind battle.

I never win. I never lose. I just fight.

I've always thought that the answer to a problem was just one good thought process away, but the older I get, the more I realize that there's a distinct possibility that sometimes there isn't an answer. There are very few certainties, and gray areas tend to exist much more frequently than the black and the white.

I've come to recognize lately that I live my life in fear. My faith tells me that fear doesn't come from God. Therefore, fear is not what He desires for us.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

2 Timothy 1:7

I can analyze my life until I'm blue in the face, but the truth that I'm slowly coming to is that the longer I analyze, the more fearful I become. The more possibilities and answers I come up with only illustrate more ways I can screw up...and it freaks me out.

I think I'll stop thinking.

In other news, tomorrow I'm going to get set up to be a substitute teacher. I'm excited to have to opportunity to save some money and get out of the house more often! Life is going well...we celebrated my little bro's 22nd birthday yesterday (I can't believe he's 22), and April showers are in full pour, which means May flowers are just around the corner! I love good weather!

Hope all is well with everyone!

Love and peace,

Amelia

P.S. Check out Soul Pancake. Though I don't agree with all its religious views, and I'm trying to analyze less, I think this website is worth checking out. It's important to know what we believe, how we think, and who we are. Asking hard questions sucks sometimes, but the results are worth it. :-) Plus, the founder of the website and main author of the book is Rainn Wilson from The Office...I love that show!

I don't know.

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.

"Which road do I take?" she asked.

"Where do you want to go?" was his response.

"I don't know," Alice answered.

"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

~Lewis Carroll

I don't know. These seem to be the only three words in my vocabulary recently.

"Where do you want to live, Amelia?"

I don't know.

"What do you want to do, Amelia?"

I don't know.

"How are you going to make money?"

I don't know.

Maybe it matters, maybe it doesn't.

I'm weary. I'm tired of trying to figure everything out, and my brain hurts from analyzing every single detail of my life. Sometimes I think I've made a breakthrough and cracked the life code, and then something comes along to scramble all the numbers again, and I'm back to square one.

Can I just go sit in the sandbox...

Or play with Play-Doh, please?

I'm sure everything's going to work out just fine...

In other news, here's a pic of another one of my cooking fails. These were supposed to be the best brownies ever, but something happened in the baking process to suggest otherwise. Despite their appearance, they did, however, taste very delicious. They just didn't look very pretty. :-)

"What happened to the brownies, Amelia?"

I don't know.

Love and peace,

Amelia

P.S. If you're looking for a great book to read, check out The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Yes...they're written for young adults, but I'm in the third book, and I just can't put them down. :-)